Wednesday, August 31, 2005


back in december my little sis needed to come home from to new orleans where she had lived for the past ten years she was going through a break up and i needed to be there for her so i drove the 2300 miles to pick her up and to tow her car back. and i can honestly tell you i have never been more gratefull for doing that than i am today. I cannot imagine being here and seing what i have been seeing on the news and on the internet with her still there and no way of knowing how she is or if she is o.k. I would probably be in my truck on my way to nola to find her and get her out of there. but she is HERE and for that i am happy Love ya heidi

Wednesday, August 24, 2005


For the fisrst time since High School I am not working for my dad or for myself I got a real Job with a company here in sac. while i am starting to enjoy the job and the freedom it brings I feel like something is missing like i am wasting my time there I dont know it is hard to explain almost like i am biding my time until something big happens. I have a side project going making a BBQ seasoning, that excites me i sell about 50-60 bottles a month with out doing a thing to try and sell it. I know that if i just put a little effort into it, it would take off........ so why havent I? why havent i taken the time and visit stores and try to make this successful? is it because i am afraid of repeating past failures, or maybe i am lazy, or is that i am afraid of success. well i dont think it is fear of success hell i am ready for that and i dont think its that i am lazy, but maybe in the back of my head i am thinking " what the hell is the point what are the odds this is going to take off" I know i need to stay positive sometimes it is just downright hard. but i am working at it, I think it will work out

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

I like beer

I like beer, it tasts great and is less filling I am not much of a wine drinker, as a matter of fact I think most of it is pretty gross, and for the most part I dont drink much hard alcohol tequila es el diablo. but beer on the other hand I tend to consume on a regular basis nothing beats a cold beer after a hard day of work, dont you agree?

Sunday, August 14, 2005

still here

I am still here, some times it seems i have been to hell and back but i am still here I have survived a divorce and felt i would lose my daughters affection when it was over she still loves me and i survived i am still here. when i lived at a apartment above my work for 9 months with my best friend and dealt with my divorce, my daughter, and the guilt of not ever being able to please or satisfy my father i came to the conclusion that it probably would not be an easy road for me but i survived, I am still here. I have been through 2 failed business ventures and seemingly endless fininacial troubles but with the support from my wife i survived, i am still here. when I met my 2nd wife about 3 years ago and i thought things were finally beginning to turn around for me, she has been my rock, my love, my companion,we are great together like peanut butter and jelly i started like being here again.....about 5 months ago my ex wife asked me for permission to move my daughter out of state it was the hardest decision i have ever made but i let her go thinking it would be the best situation for her to be able to grow up in a better enviroment have a big house in a quite safe neighborhood isnt that what we all want for our kids it was hard to be unselfish but i was and believe i made the right decision for her, yesterday i had to say goobye to her it was the hardest thing i ever have done trying to not break down in the airport while i was hugging the sweetest 6 year old girl in the world was impossible i will see her again in 2 to 3 months she needs me and i need her, I am surviving i will still be here.